Something's missing
by Stracciatella
Summary: Due to recovering from a sickness, Merlin gets left behind when his King sets on a trip to their allied kingdom - yet he's not one to sit and wait patiently. He catches up with the knights, but Arthur is nowhere to be found. Soon enough Merlin learns what it means to be truly lost. Reveal fic, kinda :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've written anything, not to mention a fanfiction, I hope it'll be any good :) I've watched the last season only recently, but it's not like I can set this story after the finale for obvious reasons :p So I decided between fourth and fifth seasons would be fine, it didn't really make me any difference.**

**There's one twist: Arthur's not married to Gwen, I just can't stand her (I also happen to dislike Angel too, not because of this role though) and this way I can just leave her out. You can think their wedding simply got postponed and will still happen in the future if you want, or you can take a slashy approach ;) I'll be sure to leave enough room for both to be possible and just choose whatever makes you happy. **

**Claimer: I own Merlin, of course, I'm the one who invented Arthurian legends and all, and then I convinced the BBC people to make it into a TV show. You can show me your gratitude by leaving a review. **

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Merlin absolutely hated hunting. He hated it with a burning passion. There were many reasons, none of which would Arthur ever listen to. Or rather, he did - but only to make fun of his exhausted servant for being such a wimp. Said servant was forced along on three hunting trips in the recent weeks and was practically on the verge of tears when informed about the fourth.

"Merlin? Are you in here?"

There have been no great threats to Camelot for a long time and the king has relaxed, for he was able to handle every problem should the danger arise. Life never got boring as there still were sorcerers hoping to avenge their beloved ones or travelers from the others kingdoms with the strangest requests, but none of those were actually any trouble in the long run. No Morgana in sight, no traitors. Arthur was extremely cautious for any signs of danger for the first few months, then he seemed to calm down a little, got used to the situation, to himself being the king. Finally, he felt truly confident again, his current position his strongest advantage rather than a burden.

"Merlin! Oh for the love of…"

Merlin remained by his side, proud and patient. Arthur was on the right path, all he needed now was some more time, they had to wait just a little while longer and he'll be ready. He's already begun accepting the fact not all sorcery is evil, at least in some cases. There's hope, Merlin often thought with relief. On the other "MERLIN! WAKE UP, YOU USELESS IDIOT" hand, the young king still had his moments of blindness, when he forgot his own heart and followed his father's lead, especially when not given enough time to think. It was still not good enough for Merlin to reveal himself.

"Sire? What is the matter?"

"Ah, Gaius. Can you believe that? He's sleeping. He was supposed to wake _me_ up hours ago and get ready for our trip to Caerleon. Queen Annis is not one to be made waiting."

If Arthur was faced with a sorcerer whose only crime was possessing magic, he could show them mercy as long as they truly didn't pose a threat and there was no witness - a few times he has purposely sent Merlin and the knights away with some idiotic excuses. No one knew for sure what happened in the throne room during their absence, many haven't even given it any thought. Those who did, of course had their suspicions, yet they wouldn't dare question the king since the kingdom remained at peace. He's most certainly not enchanted and there haven't been any change in his behavior, maybe after some eye-to-eye interrogation Arthur managed to get a proof they have not practiced magic after all. Letting them go would be an only option in such case.

But there were times when Arthur was not given the time to consider whether a magic creature facing him has good or bad intentions. He still didn't trust them really, and treated them as enemies. Although he was starting to _see_, he was not "I am sorry, Sire, has no one informed you? I made sure to ask the guard to find a servant who could take over Merlin's duties for a while longer" ready yet. Merlin has suffered incredible guilt every time he didn't manage to help his kin in time, knowing that he could be able to prevent the deaths if only he revealed himself. But he couldn't. Gaius reminded him often enough, Arthur is not ready yet. He would see this as another betrayal. Not because he doesn't trust Merlin - quite on the contrary, because he trusts him too much. Just a while longer…

"No. What happened? Is he still unwell?"

"Unfortunately yes. He is better, but I doubt he would be able to accompany you, my lord."

As Merlin patiently waits, Arthur keeps getting stronger. In fact, he's so strong he can finally afford some fun, hence the hunting trips. It's been so long since he's gone on one, always worrying about leaving the castle kingless, but no more! He established a new council which consisted of his most trusted friends, the Round Table indicating he thought them equal. Some times has passed and they proved capable of handling various issues. "Oh. Well, in that case, Gaius, make sure he is of good health when I come back. The stables can't muck themselves out."And as realization dawned on Arthur, Merlin despaired: the king was no longer confined to the city.

The weather seemed to ignore all of the latter's prayers and turned bad the moment he learned about the first hunting trip. The rain just wouldn't stop and by the end of it, they were all covered in disgusting mud, dirty and cold. Merlin just couldn't comprehend how it was possible for him to be the only one put off by that. The others had a blast.

"Of course, Sire. There is no need to worry, he will be fine soon enough."

It's been a similar story for the next three trips. The temperature dropped significantly, the rain was cold and his clothes were completely soaked after the first few minutes. "Who said I was worried? Why would I even be? Gaius." It was just this time of the year when people should stay inside, Merlin thought, it didn't even matter inside of _what_ exactly, as long as it was warm there. He seemed to be the only one affected by the weather, it wasn't really a big surprise, though. Arthur and the few knights he took with him weren't freezing the whole time, their thick clothes protecting them. He only had his tunic, jacket and, of course, the neckerchief.

"Yes, my lord?"

"Not a word to anyone. Make him get better."

It was also not a shock to anyone that he's gotten sick. Gaius has already started working on a medicine for him and he was getting better rather fast.

As Arthur left for Caerleon Kingdom, Gaius allowed himself to smile widely at the sleeping man. The king truly held him dear in his heart even if he would never admit it, a friend of different kind than the knights. One to confide in and one to protect since he's so _obviously_ defenseless. Merlin has accomplished the impossible, turning the prat into the man Arthur was now.

He's gonna be ecstatic to learn he's got a few days off. Arthur won't be back until next week and that gives him plenty of time to recover and rest. Gaius hummed contently walking to his chamber where he started mixing the next dose of Merlin's medicine.

It was not until hours later than Merlin ran down the stairs and startled the physician who was deep in thought over some book. He looked absolutely frightened, with his eyes wide and face pale. He gripped the doorframe tightly, yet didn't seem weakened by the sickness anymore.

"Gaius. It's so bright outside. What time it is?"

"Don't worry, Merlin" Gaius smiled at him reassuringly. "I told Arthur you're still too unwell to go with him this time. Just rest for now."

"You did _what_?" For some reason Merlin's face only paled even more as he frowned. "You practically push me outside when he forces me to go on those stupid, meaningless hunts, yet when he actually might need me you just let me sleep in? Gaius!"

The man sighed, slightly taken aback and put his book away.

"Calm down. He's with his best knights on his way to our allied kingdom. Take this opportunity to regain your strength." He rolled his eyes as Merlin ran to his room. Moments later he was back fully dressed and packed with the most important supplies. "For God's sake, Merlin, you're still not good enough to travel such a distance."

"Hundreds of things could happen during the ride! We may be at peace now, but don't forget Morgana is still out there somewhere." When he was ready to go, Merlin turned to Gaius one last time and smiled warmly at his worried expression. "I feel fine, really. Your medicine works wonders, thank you. Please, you surely understand why I'm doing this."

Gaius sighed again and nodded in defeat. "Be careful."

"Aren't I always?" Merlin grinned and disappeared through the door, leaving the physician with an uneasy feeling he couldn't quite name.

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**Sorry if it's boring for now, there will be some actual action from the next chapter :) I really wanted to finish it before going to work so I kinda had to cut it there. I'll check it for mistakes later, feel free to point them out if you want to. **

**Thanks for the read, I hope you'll stick with me until the next chapter is out! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin could remember, vaguely, being shown a map with their planned route to the Caerleon Kingdom when he was going over the schedule with Arthur, but a few days have passed already - not to mention the beginning sickness that was tiring both his mind and body at that time. He recalled seeing the map. Only the map, of course. Not the route. It'd be too easy to have some luck once in a while, wouldn't it?

But there was no Gaius to scold him for being careless, and no Arthur from whom he'd have to hide. Once outside the city, setting off in the general direction of Caerleon, or at least that's what he hoped, Merlin used the tracking spell not to waste any more time wandering around the forest. The others were already a few hours ahead, it'd be bad if he didn't catch up quickly. He felt the warm, tingling sensation wash over him as his eyes flashed gold for a second and the path his friends took unfolded before him.

It's been so long since he was able to play around with his magic freely - well, as freely as it could get in Camelot - with all those hunting trips and constant company of knights. A pleasurable calmness found its way into his mind before he decided to break the spell for now. He was still too close to the city to let it last, yet there shouldn't be any problems as long as he keeps heading in the right direction.

Checking if he hasn't gotten off track every now and then, Merlin managed to cover quite a distance in a rather short amount of time, as there was no one to complain about the use of his talent. As he left Camelot far behind him, the spell guided him through forests after the trace of his friends. He hoped they would make a camp and rest, since then he'd be able to catch up with them, he himself not needing sleep after only waking up recently.

Diving into his magic, he concentrated mostly on the inviting, cozy feeling that it responded with, staying just barely conscious of the world so as not to fall from his horse. And suddenly something shattered. It felt like the path ended here, his spell not being able to follow any further.

Merlin quickly brought the mare to a halt and looked around, saw no one though. He was on a meadow right now, completely exposed. Could this be a trap? But why would anyone go to such an extent only to drive him away from Camelot? Oh. Maybe that wasn't the brightest question he's ever posed himself. Yet… was there someone with ill intentions towards the king who even knew about his identity? Why would anyone suspect it's wise to separate them if he was just a mere servant?

"Maybe I just took back the spell by mistake" he whispered trying to sound confident in order to calm himself down a little. He re-casted it and waited for a few long seconds with his heart beating like crazy from worry over Arthur - would the king be used as a bait? Hardly possible if it was still him to be the main target in the end. So did he actually remain in Camelot? But then, whose path has he been following all day? - but suddenly it clicked. His magic found the trace again starting off in a distance, but still visible. Now that was weird. What, have they teleported?

He rushed towards the trace, an uneasy feeling forcing him to stay alert. "Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe it was just some normal occurrence and I only first noticed" he prayed under his nose. He couldn't be too far from them now, there was a small smoke coming from the woods indicating someone was having a supper. Hopefully that someone would be nice enough to share some with him instead of sharing _him _to shreds.

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It was getting rather dark and Merlin's wishful thinking proved to be accurate. Whoever it was to make a camp, they decided to rest through the night. He managed to reach them in around two or maybe three hours time, with his mare exhausted yet still responding to her rider's orders. He patted her on her long neck with gratitude as he got off and tied the reins around a nearby tree. It wasn't too smart to leave his horse in such a distance from the camp in case he needed to get away quickly, but this way he had a better chance of coming closer unnoticed. Arthur could make fun of him all he wanted, but Merlin wasn't really that clumsy as he made out himself to be.

He made a mental note to change that belief of his when he tripped over some root and fell in a puddle of mud with a surprised yelp.

There was still a chance he could hide somewhere and see who was it that he caught up with, but when he tried to move there was already a cold, sharp blade just barely poking at his back.

"Turn around" came a harsh order and Merlin relaxed. He knew this voice. So it really must have been of no importance that the trace vanished at some point since he still reached exactly who he was meaning to.

"Sir Leon" he greeted grinning widely, trying to turn so that he could face the knight without getting any more mud onto his clothes.

"Merlin?" an incredulous cry escaped the man's lips as he sheathed his sword and helped him to his feet. "What on earth are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just tripped" Merlin let himself be shown to the camp fire where the others were already deep asleep. "And you all? Did something happen on your way?"

Leon looked at him with slight surprise and raised his eyebrows at the weird question. "No, why? We traveled unbothered. Are sure you are well?" He took his place in front of the camp as he was tonight's watchman and stole one last glance at Merlin. "You look rather tired. Go to sleep, you're gonna have some explaining to do in the morning."

Merlin smiled with relief and sat by the fire, wondering how much scolding he's about to get for following them alone. Arthur will probably be quite angry at that supposedly stupid act - after all, being the prat he is he'd have trouble finding another servant this fantastic should anything happen to Merlin.

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"Heey there, sleeping beauty. Get up"

Merlin forced himself to open his eyes and scanned his surroundings only to find Gwaine staring at him with a grin. "I didn't expect you to suddenly show up, but since you're already here, how about you get to the breakfast?"

"Make your own breakfast" Merlin moaned, trying to get some more sleep but the look Gwaine gave him didn't leave too much room for hope. Reluctantly, he sat up and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the still lingering sleepiness. He coughed a little, a little reminder of his sickness, and followed Gwaine to get their food supplies.

"How did you end up here?" his friend asked, voicing the question they all had. Merlin shrugged, not looking up from the pot with soup he was trying to place above the fire.

"Don't enjoy being left behind, I guess? Where's Arthur, anyway?"

The knights exchanged dumbfounded looks which didn't escape his attention. He carefully let go of the pot and turned to them with a frown. "What? What's wrong? Where is he?"

"What do you mean, where is he?" Leon answered with a slight worry appearing on his face. "In Camelot, where else? The citadel was where I last saw him."

What?

The others nodded in agreement, not really concerned. "Come on, you didn't think he was here, did you?" Elyan smiled a little, but the look on Merlin's face made him laugh at the top of his lungs along with Gwaine.

Great. What was that clotpole thinking? After weeks of planning this trip and making him write tons of stupid speeches to see which one would fit best the occasion, Arthur suddenly decided to stay home? But that couldn't be. Or maybe he did change his plans some time ago, yet there was no way of informing his servant? Merlin had to admit that the last few days he spent mostly on sleeping and couldn't quite remember anything Arthur had said to him during his short visits.

So he traveled all this way for nothing. Gaius was right, he should have just stayed home and rest. Speaking of Gaius, why didn't the physician tell him Arthur hadn't left?

"No way" he sighed, shooting the laughing knights a dark glare which only made them laugh even more.

"How come you didn't know that, Merlin?" Leon asked him, trying his best not to smirk but failing. "Don't you think he'd inform you if he was to go set out on a trip to another kingdom?"

"Eh? What do you mean?

"Basically" Gwaine threw an arm around his friend shoulders, still chuckling a bit "You heard about us being sent as a delegation to Caerleon and immediately assumed Arthur's coming, too."

Was that even possible? They didn't look the slightest bit alerted, so he must be speaking the truth. Or at least what he believes to be the truth, Merlin suddenly realized, for they would never act so carefree otherwise, especially when he brought such a worry into their attention. They truly believed Arthur was never meant to go with them.

Merlin felt cold shivers running down his spine as it gradually dawned on him. The interruption in the trace. Something _did_ happen on that meadow. It would be rather unnatural for Arthur to suddenly decide to stay in Camelot, but it was positively impossible for him to never actually plan on coming. Arthur discussed the details of the trip with him, as well as with the knights. Merlin worked on the speech Arthur would present at the feast that Queen Annis was to prepare upon his arrival. Have they forgotten? How?

"Are you sure he never intended to come?" he asked, praying they would finally give up on teasing him and tell him Arthur's just gone for a stroll. He was answered with nods.

He turned to the horses and counted them, and the numbers matched the knights. He wasn't here. Arthur really wasn't here. It'd be wise to send his most trusted knights if he himself was staying in Camelot, Merlin noted, yet… would he really send them all together? He would want some of them to go and some to stay with him. He's done so before.

He mentally scolded himself for being stupidly hopeful and naïve. Right now he was just wasting time. The meadow. That's where he's gonna find some answers. He could only hope the enchantment put on the knights won't prove to be harmful in any way. If he suspected correctly, Arthur was the main target yet _again_, and the knights were just an unneeded burden intended to continue their quest so as not to interfere. He involuntarily agreed that whoever came up with the idea must be pretty smart for separating them.

He felt guilt creeping up on him. If only he hadn't sleeped in, he could have been able to protect them. He desperately hoped for Arthur to be alive.

"Merlin? What is the matter?" Leon asked him, noticing the terrified expression on his face and the sudden paleness. "Are you still sick? You shouldn't have come."

"No, no. I'm fine." He replied reassuringly. If he made them too worried, they'd never let him go anywhere on his own. "Thanks to Gaius. You know how good he is… with all that… herbs. And potions. He gave me some medicine and I feel perfectly fine."

Gwaine looked at him sternly, as if he was able to tell his friend was hiding something from them and Merlin did his best not to squirm nervously. "But it's so like Arthur to stand me up. Right? Haha" he tried a different approach. "I bet he's laughing his head off at me for going after you. I'd better go back to Camelot. Now."

The knights visibly relaxed as soon as Merlin himself seemed to stop being so tensed, and he congratulated himself mentally.

"But it's a day long ride. Maybe you should just come with us" Percival suggested, speaking up probably for the first time since they rode off. "Not to be mean or anything, but let's face it, Merlin. You're not exactly good at staying out of trouble, nor defending yourself."

"You sound like you don't know Arthur" Merlin forced himself to laugh. "Who's gonna help him dress if I'm not there?"

That left him with no further disagreements, to his great relief. He didn't have time for arguments, the meadow was around three hours away and he would have yet to find Arthur before saving him. There was no telling if he's not in need of his magical friend's talents _right now_.

Both the knights and Merlin set off in a few minutes time in opposite directions. As soon as he lost sight of them, his eyes flashed gold again and he let himself be guided by his own track from the previous evening back to the meadow.

There, waiting for him in the glory of the vast plain, was nothing.

He looked around, only to see some crops far away in a distance and the line of trees where forest started again. He closed his eyes, desperately feeling the presence around him for any signs of Arthur's. He got a little dizzy when the overwhelming buzzing of magic coming from nature danced around with his senses and tried to tune it out, to focus on finding this one particular trace important to him, and there it was! Extremely faint, but still. Trying to emphasize the feeling, he groaned with annoyance as there was no exact direction Arthur could have gone to. But he _has_ been here. Yet the knights believed otherwise. That could only mean trouble.

That, and a blade of a sword pressed into his back for the second time during this trip.

"You have magic!"

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**I hope you enjoyed it, please look forward to next chapters :) Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

**Ah, and I'm well aware the Sleeping Beauty didn't exist back then. Just umm.. pretend she did? :D It just felt like something Gwaine would say :)**


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